I apologize in advance for my rant, but I need to just get this all out so I can try and figure shit out and move past it. I know most, if not all, of you will not even read this, but I need to say it anyways….
So, for those of you who know about working paycheck to paycheck to make the bare minimum, you will probably understand my frustrations. I am working one full time job and one part time job and I make roughly $1,300/month after taxes. Now, where that may seem like a lot, it’s not when you factor in all my bills. Rent is $525, Gas is $40-$50, Electricity is $50-60, Phone is $100, Gym is $20 (it was the cheapest I could find and I needed something to stay healthy) and Cable/Internet is $110 (it is the one [cheapest] splurge I grant myself because I live alone and I don’t have many friends to visit with). So, that leaves us with about $445 a month (I cut the gas and electric bill down the middle to call it fair).
From there, we need gas for the car, right? Sure. Who doesn’t? Well, I drive an older truck, the vehicle I was given (in appreciation of my dad) because I couldn’t afford to buy my own. Anyone who drives a truck knows two things about gas; they use a lot and they cost a lot. So, with gas prices how they are now, I try to only let my tank go to halfway before I fill up, but even then it costs me $50-$60 to fill it. And I must do so once a week (with having to drive back and forth to two jobs). Calling it down the middle again, that leaves us with about $225 a month. My family lives an hour away, so I try to visit about once a month and that requires another tank of gas, so we will bring the total left to only $170.
If you think about it, having even that much left is a semi decent amount, until you realize I get paid every other week so from that, I actually only have $85 left per check. There are things I need like toilet paper, toothpaste, feminine products, soap, shampoo, store brand medicine (since I have plenty of aches and pains with having no insurance; a whole other issue to vent about), etc. So, taking that into account, getting those things once a month or so, I’d say is about $40 a month. bringing our total to $65 per check (or $130) left over.
Here’s another issue I have; when I was STRESSED for money about a year ago with the break-in and moving, I took out a $3,500 loan against the house value of my grandmothers home because I had NO OTHER OPTION. I have to make a payment to that every month, with interest. That payment: $175. So, just so we know we’re calculating right, there is $130 left from my checks, per month, and I need to make a payment of $175 with that. Low and behold, that puts our total at -$45! Yep, that’s right, I’m in the negative now. Oh but wait, I’m not done!!!!!
Out of high school, I moved to live with my ex and attended school; she did as well. We couldn’t both afford to pay for schooling, as well as the bills we had, so we had to take out student loans. And by we, I mean me. She didn’t want the loans to be under her name and affect her credit, so she (regrettably and stupidly) convinced me to put them all under my name. All $25,000-$30,000 worth. As you can see by the “ex” portion of this paragraph, we are no longer together and yes, she made no attempt to help me pay back OUR loans so now I am stuck with them. Obviously, seeing as I am already in the negative, I am unable to make any payments towards the loans, so now the government is garnishing my wages. I know I am at fault and I deserve to lose money to pay back what I owe so I am not upset at this, I am just simply stressed about having another $200/month taken from my checks. So, now I am at a total of -$245 each month.
I have to move back home. For the first time in over 8 years, I have to move home and it is hard to do. I love my family, but I don’t know how I’m going to handle everything…….